I wrote this book, 7 years ago, in a hotel room over three days. And it now wants to be read. Here’s a taste. Time for us ALL to get over our relentless angst and see a bigger picture.
If you have picked up this book, then you are curious.
For this is a book like no other.
It calls for radical change in a world where such change can make you radically uncomfortable.
It runs counter to the monolithic global beauty tide.
I’m not going to gloss. For too many in the self-help industry make life look so easy.
Well, it is, and it isn’t.
And you read those books, give it a go, then fall off the wagon to go searching for something new.
I’m here to tell you there is nothing new.
What if you couldn’t be fixed, made better than, made whole, or enlightened.
What if there was never anything wrong with you?
And all you had to do was open your eyes to what is already there.
And stop searching for what you have been, all along.
I am writing this book because I have a sense of urgency.
Things must change and change soon. The planet is not well.
And many of us are not well.
I am writing this book because I can’t see people unhappy with their bodies any more.
It hurts me to see young women want new breasts because they don’t like the ones they have.
It hurts me to see fathers of young women lament as they see their daughters crave a different shape.
It hurts me to see women constantly battling with food, good food, bad food, and starving and purging themselves.
It hurts me to see women push their partners away because they don’t like their own thighs.
And it hurts me to see so much money and angst spent in getting hair right.
It hurts me to see such amazing creative energy get funnelled into competing, all life long. For what? A place in the beauty queue, a moment in the sun when someone else thinks we’re pretty enough? To matter.
For I want women, young and old, to be free.
To be their own unique beauty. To let the sun shine through.
To be themselves. Gloriously.
Without a beauty point of view.
To be able to tune their radar to what they are really here to do.
Contribute to the world by being all they can be, and more, and more.
To be as BIG as they truly be.
So, I’d like to invite you to…
Imagine a world where everyone is happy.
Everyone knows exactly what brings them joy, and that is what they do.
Everyone knows exactly how they contribute to life itself.
They know what they are here for.
Some love cooking, some teaching, some stocking shelves, working with numbers, designing vehicles, designing clothes, setting up systems, making pies, blowing glass, assembling computers, selling cars, designing houses, building bridges, making roads, caring for cows, singing, dancing, kicking balls, growing vegetables, body boarding waves, making face creams, leading countries, telling stories, writing books, acting in films, grooming dogs, birthing babies and detailing dirty cars and more..
Imagine all have found their place in a big jigsaw puzzle, spinning through space, and all is well. Because they are happy, really happy. There is no illness, communities care for each other with inclusion and kindness, there is no crime, all are nourished, there is music, art, beauty, laughter, kindness, rich cultures, thriving fields, flowering rooftop gardens, and no fighting.
And all are blossoming, beyond compare.
What if every one of the seven and a half billion people all worked together in harmony? Corporations share their wealth, care for team members’ health, clean rivers flow easily, energy is generated freely, and the news channels are all good news, interesting, inspiring educational good news.
Imagine if we could just live like that for just one day.
Even just your neighbourhood, even just your street, even just your family, or even just one person.
Because change starts with you.
As we are all connected, you change you and we change the whole.
So listen up now.
You are that crucial to the world.
Before we get started.
This is not a beauty book.
Nor is it not a book about self-esteem.
Nor is it a book about ‘spiritual enlightenment’.
You may notice I do not have angels on the cover, nor purple. Anywhere.
This is not a book about how ‘amazing, awesome, phenomenal, beautiful, transformed, goooooorgeous, enlightened, and extraordinary’ you are.
Pink syrupy, hypnotic language of the New Age kind just lulls us into thinking we are so ‘transformationally connected’, that all we have to do is go ooohh, ahhh, and look into each other’s eyes and all will be well.
When you leave the workshop, it won’t. When you get back to the daily grind of life, it doesn’t change.
Your guru just left town.
All the crystals, metaphysical healings, readings, chanting, white light and sharing goddess circles won’t change a thing.
Unless you choose.
In a world where it is OK for twenty something year olds to have botox, and breast implants, I wonder where we lost ourselves. Maybe in the search to be the fittest, the sleekest, the glossiest, the smoothest, the firmest, the plumpest, the most buffed, the most gelled, the most manicured, hair straightened, accepted and cosmically cool, we simply lost the plot.
Our bodies are simply commodities. Our houses are too big, our lifestyles too credit card extended, out plasma screens too many. And our shoes too bizarre.
And we are dying. From cancers, broken hearts, and depression induced ailments.
Just like our planet.
So, we require nothing short of a Revolution. Where we tip it all upside down, look at it from an entirely different perspective, take a deep breath, and simply ask…
Who are we REALLY and why, oh why, are we here?
So this is a book about you. The Bigger You. It is a gusty, pragmatic, simple look at the truth.
I said I don’t do gloss. I don’t do sweet very well either.
I do do provocation. And I do tell the truth.
And the truth is sexy. Very sexy.
It is vibrant, full, luscious, evocative, and gloriously available.
To us all.
If you choose
As Marianne Williamson wrote for Mandela…
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are
powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?”
You don’t write a book. It writes you. It tells you when it is ready.
Now is the time.
We are starting a Revolution.
A Gorgeous Revolution.
Because something has to give.
It is a book about true beauty, acceptance and potency beyond what we have ever considered before, and it is a book about taking action.
By the time you have read it you will never look at your body, nor anyone else’s, the same way again.
And your life will change.
Together with your relationships. Your health. Your wealth. Your plans.
I cannot NOT write this. It has called to me, provocatively, for years, and I am now compelled to act.
We have just gone too far.
Chapter One: Puppy fat. What puppy fat?
I was born a chubby, bubbly, happy child.
We lived in a middle class way. I was oblivious to my chubbiness except when my ballet leotards bubbled from my middle when I tied my pink crossover . But I could jump really high, so I thought I was good. And my pink tutu twirled in the light of the mirror. To me, I was beautiful. Unquestionably beautiful.
One day my Dad, who adored me, as Dads do, said ‘Won’t it be great when you lose your puppy fat’.
Puppy fat…what puppy fat?
I started a diet the next day, and continued it for twenty three years. Even after he died when I was only twelve.
You might ask why? I have pondered that often, but I realise that I simply wanted to be special. Not ordinary, but special. And to please him. And losing weight, and keeping it off was the best way I could keep being special. To him, to anyone, to me. Everyone would notice me, like me, and listen to me.
That way I was different. But was acceptably different. Specially different.
Yep. A major twenty three year divergence, but not an exclusive one.
For, I am not alone.
The majority of us diet. And strive for perfection. Some for years, and years, just like me.
So what has dieting, or the ceasing of it, got to do with turning around the Titanic?
We women remain small because of it. It consumes us, it always sits there at the back of our mind. And we fear being fat. And out of control. And aging. And being passed over. And if we are overweight, we are just that, out of control.
Dieting sits at the centre of dumbing down, controlling and fitting in. It prevents intimacy, vulnerability, questioning, true feeling, languid lusciousness, and freedom. We are prisoners in our own manicured, glossy, lipsticked, smooth underweared world.
The Divine cannot be heard in the body of a dieter, nor that of a serial botox user.
And when God cannot be heard, neither are we.
And when the body is no longer listened to, neither is the planet.
I remember being fourteen and secretly borrowing my mother’s panty girdle. My newly found, robust curves were wayward, unacceptable, and I had to control them.
Years later, I remember trying to hide my steadfast panty girdle from my new lover, I just knew he would find it a turn off, so I hid it way at the back of my cupboard. I just pretended he didn’t know I wore it.
Like the emperor’s new clothes, I acted as if my body was always this perfectly sprung. It had to be, it must be.
Or life itself would not be worth it.
But now the Beauty Arsenal has made it easy. Support to be perfect includes not only dieting and botox, but also the incessant preening, smoothing, cutting, pumping, liposuctioning, ironing, lasering, bleaching, dying, straightening, spray tanning, polishing and injecting of our bodies.
Because we are led to believe by an authoritative beauty industry we are special.
Chosen. Worth it.
It took radical action to allow me to stop. It took questioning, counselling, money, and out on the edge searching to finally let go.
Of never being enough.
And it took the adoration, the care and the patience of a partner who steadfastly believed I was beautiful, to chip away at my doubt and for me to one day walk free.
Naked. Without any props, just me. Gorgeous me.
Well…wake up now.
We don’t have the luxury of the time I had. I indulged myself.
We don’t have another twenty three years to stop the madness. It has to stop now.
We have to be all we are and more. And fast.
Now I could make this wonderfully tricky.
I could take you down a path of spiritual teachers as long as your arm. I could read you your astrology chart, rebirth you, reiki you. I could tell you where your inner child was hurt, where your parents did a rotten job, where you are really a reincarnated goddess, a witch, a monk, or a princess. I could tell you it is going to take you ten cathartic sessions before you will feel anything.
I could tell you, you will suffer for your karma, your debts, your light, your zealous religious beliefs and satanic acts of a former life.
Well, I’m going to simplify it all for you, and just remind you of what you deeply, somewhere, already know. If I can distil a lifetime of reading, searching, personal developing, painful releasing and torturous group sharing, I will.
Because we don’t have another twenty three years.
So, what if I simply asked…
Chapter Two: What if there was never anything wrong with you?
For all my adult life I have explored ME. I have sought to make me better.
Which of course implies there is something wrong with me in the first place.
I have paid thousands of dollars to explore my inner landscape, so I could FIX myself.
Somehow be brighter, stronger, faster, more informed, more improved, than most.
Again, be special. But endless pursuits to be better have lead me to back to the beginning, to the simple truth. And I ask again,
What if there was never anything wrong with you?
- What if every small niggly thing you have ever believed about yourself is a lie?
- And what if, right now, I give you permission, full sanction, to be ALL you are and more? More please. More of everything you have tried to squash, forever.
- What if none of your story was true?
- And what if being ‘out of control’ was just that, BEYOND the control of others. FREE!
- What if there really was only NOW?
- Who would you be if you were not your body?
- Who would you be if you simply let the charade drop now, the past drop now, and walked free?
No drama, no pain, no regrets, no judgement, no apology, no guilt, no niceness, no waiting…no excuse.
How BIG would you truly be then?
And how small have you been playing now, for FAR TOO long?
Well…here we go, get on the train. Hold on, listen up, and change your point of view.
Because our world, our very future, depends on it.
Chapter Three: The truth about your body
You do not fit inside your body. It fits inside you.
Your bigger you, the one that you get glimpses of between the breaths, is HUGE.
You ARE the universe.
And before you think I’ve gone mad, I’ll prove it. Close your eyes. Put your hands up, nearly touching each other, and feel the energy between them. Just feel it. It exists outside your body too.
And as we know from science, energy knows no bounds, it continues.
Just as space does. So therefore we are really limitless. As big as the Universe in fact. Unlimited. Connected. We are in fact, ONE.
Now if we are ONE, then we share the same global possibilities, the same global mind, and definitely the same planet.
The Universe is in fact full of energy. Full of potential. Possibility.
And our bodies are the transmitters of this energy.
They are our cat’s whiskers. Our wiring system, our way of receiving and transmitting information and energy. Of being AWARE. Of being connected.
Our body sees around corners. It knows what is behind the closed door, when your small you does not.
Without our bodies we do not experience.
We do not receive who we really are (because remember we ARE energy itself), so we have no way of experiencing pleasure, nor joy, nor love.
Our bodies are vehicles of pleasure, intuition, vibrancy, aliveness, joy and gratitude.
And, at this current point in time, our bodies are way more aware than the small we, we pretend to be.
They can repair themselves. Function on automatic, without interference. They multitask, create and generate, give pleasure, receive pleasure, see beauty, feel warmth, touch lightly, taste delicacies, dig dirt, caress babies, build cities, climb mountains, cry tears and sashay in frocks. They wear Laboutins with ease, and catch footballs with grace.
Without them, we are not truly here.
So why, oh why do we torture them, poison them, control them, overfeed, hate and berate them so much?
Why do we make them sick, cut them, truss them in tight underwear, starve them, drag them around and judge them?
All life long.